SDR 059: So You Want to Make It On Your Own?

Being independent has been advocated, popularized and even romanticised by the media and society. Society today laud those who apparently ‘have made it own their own’. Without any help from their parents or anyone. Now, I am sorry to break it down to you but I personally believe that that thinking is foolish and ungrateful.

I used to be in the camp that advocates going it your own way and making it on your own. And I also know that there are others who would have gladly traded positions with me. Being young and a little uptight, my opinion of them was not really nice. Thankfully, that phase has passed and I have come to understand how much of a conceited and ungrateful person I was.

The narrative that has been drilled in to us is that we have to aspire to be independent. At least, seek independence. The funny thing is, we are not made for that. We are social creatures. You might disagree with me that those two things are different. And you are entitled to that. However, I believe that they are related.

Most of us are born with the similar set of physical features such as a pair of eyes, ears, hands, legs and all the make ups of a human being. However, we are each born into different circumstances – wealth, psychology, size, environment, etc. These different circumstances cannot be dealt with the same hand. If anything, they should be respected and tailored to an individual’s situation.

In the hopes of being independent, some have ignored their parents or close friends’ wealth and connections in order to succeed on their own. But then they seek out strangers, who they have to be friends with, to get the required assistance. What do you think of that?

Now, we might think that we are being independent by not relying on others –  people close to us. But if we are really ‘playing fair’, shouldn’t we then reset our times and all of us be born with the exact features and circumstances. Only then can we talk about being truly independent.

We all have ‘unfair advantages’. Stop punishing yourself and own them. Be grateful. Use them wisely. You are blessed with things that others don’t have. Even if you think you have none, you do. Open your eyes. Count your blessings. And remember to honour them by making the best use of them. Not shun them away.

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