Sometimes it takes a tragedy or an unpleasant event to happen to make us realise what truly counts in the end. There are many people who will do whatever they can to stay alive and increase their lifespan not realising that focusing their energy too much on that takes away the opportunities to make wonderful memories at that same time. It is not an either or matter. But we need to remind ourselves that our lives are defined by the memories we make, not how long we live. The irony of wanting to live long so as to experience more is just too clear here. So always remind ourselves to be grateful for what we already have, do our best to allow our body and mind to experience a great life by taking care of them and be in the moment.
To anyone who is on the journey to a better self, working on achieving personal goals and dreams, nothing throws you off or slows you down like appeasing others. When you give in to external pressures, although it might seem like not much at first, the likelihood of you doing something similar again is very likely. There will then come a point where it will all eventually hurt you for continuously doing so. And at that time, to regret would be the only thing left to do. It definitely is not an admirable position to be in. So how then do you navigate the social and emotional blackmail that might be attached to you having to accede to or satisfy the demands and pressures?
Firstly, establish if that “blackmail” is real. More often than not, we like to assume the worst of others. Not that everyone is good but we need to separate them from those with ill intent.
Secondly, seek to understand where the other party is coming from. This will allow you to be more confident of your personal stance and actions. Having a clear conscience helps to dispel the social and emotional blackmail that comes with the request.
Finally, understand that it is okay to not please everyone, especially if it is going to hurt you if you were to do so. When all is said and done, you have to be at peace with yourself.
So if you value yourself and perhaps your sanity even, politely but firmly say “no” to those that do not share your values. The short-term gain is short-lived at best.
The mind is very powerful. Whatever you feed it with, it will absorbed without hesitation. We are all confined by the limited time that we have in a day and our attention span. How we spend those precious hours and minutes will define how strong or weak our mind is. If you want to be successful, if you want to achieve your goals and dreams, then you need a very strong mind. Because I kid you not, you will be met with a ton of obstacles and hurdles which at that time would seem insurmountable but with a strong mind, the likelihood of you getting past that would be much higher than if you did not have that. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind at an incredibly strong, unshaken and unwavering level. If you need to leave your favourite addictions behind in order to get there, do it. If you need to do the things that you dread like exercising or paying more money than you can afford at your present situation in order to alleviate your mind, do it. Whatever it takes. Feed it with the best knowledge. Go and read excessively. If the thought of sitting and staring at words does not work well with you, get some audiobooks or podcasts and listen to them on the go. Stay away from the things that is detrimental to the growth of your mind. This work is a daily affair. Be committed to it and you will soon start to see the results of your efforts.
Your life is yours to live. Always remember that. Do not let anyone else tell you that you cannot do or be this or that. Sure, they can advise and suggest/recommend to you but no one should be given the right to dictate how you live your truth. However, be mindful not to let arrogance get in the way, it is when you dismiss all of the suggestions and advice thinking that you know better. The reality is that sometimes you just do not know. So listen hard but make your own decisions. After all is said and done, you will be living with the decision that you have made. Do not let society or external factors hinder you from stepping into your truth. Life is too short to worry yourself about that.
If you feel like doing something awesome that will have a great impact on yourself, people around you or even the world, go ahead and do it. Do not wait around for permission from other people. Firstly, you do not have to. Secondly, they might not see or understand what your vision is so they might just put doubt in your head about it. People who have done great things simply just do it. At first, they might face a lot of obstacles and challenges, perhaps from even their closest ones however, if they keep the faith and persevere, the sky is the limit. So stop waiting around for someone to tell you that you may now go work on your dream, you just do it.
It is inevitable that most of us will screw up at some point in our lives. Maybe you won’t, but what would you do if you did? You might seriously want to consider owning up to it, apologising profusely and mean what you say. You might feel the temptation to come up with excuses and attempt to cover yourself from the possible backlash that you think might ensue but I would strongly advise against it. That option is just going to bite you if not soon, later. So deal with it face on. You messed up, take responsibility and clean it up. Do not try to cover it with more mess because eventually when the mess gets too big to handle, you will bear the accumulated brunt of it. You might also be surprised to find that people are generally more forgiving if you are sincerely remorseful, so long as you do not make it a habit.
There is not really a secret to success if you just observe and think about it. Those who achieve success simply just work harder than those who did not. Working harder includes working smarter and all of that. Please do not get sucked into the rigid dichotomy of those two. They are not of different sides despite popular belief. Let us be honest with ourselves and ask if we have actually worked hard enough to achieve our goals and dreams. Because the inconvenient truth is that many of us have not, really. So instead of finding short-cuts, blaming everything else, calling foul, putting it on luck, face the honest truth. You just need to work harder. Those who succeed do indeed work harder. The question is, just how bad do you really want it?