Whatever was in your past has occurred and there is nothing that you can do to change that simple fact. The sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you. A lot of people like to dwell in the past, thinking how and what they could have done better only to make themselves feel worser than ever. You need to realise that what matters right now, in this instance is your decision of how to move forward. Are you going to be like most who move forward constantly thinking about the past or you going to let the past remain where it rightfully belongs – in the past – and focus on what you can do better in the future? The power has always been in your hands, you were just too consumed in your past to see that.
In order to achieve what you want, your dreams and goals, you need to commit. That means you need to do the things that you do not really need to. The things that if you did not do, will not threaten your well-being and livelihood, but if you do them, you will get closer to what you desire. It is up to you to make that commitment. That you will make the move from optional to non-negotiable. That you will wake up early in the morning and work on yourself. That you will go to the gym and give it your all even though people say that you are already looking great as you are. The reason you still do them anyway is not because it is not true, but because you have a different set of standards. Not that you are ungrateful but you believe that you can do more, that you deserve more. That is why it may be optional to some, but to you, what you do is simply non-negotiable.
If you are the type of person who needs to have people around you going through the same things as you are, have them like you and sing your praises, then be prepared to have what they have, which most likely may not be what you want. There is no other way around it. If you take on the path that everyone takes, you will have what they have, with perhaps a slight difference. But if you wish to have something that very few people have, you need to be prepared for a lonely journey ahead. Sure, there will be others doing something similar around the globe, working insanely hard to achieve their dreams, but most of the time, you are on your own. People around you might not understand you, they might even have meetings about you. But if you are serious about becoming who you are meant to be, then forge right ahead on your path, however lonely it might seem. People may or may not come around. That is okay. But what matters in the end, is that you have lived out your truth.
If you want to get to the bottom of things, you need to be prepared. Be prepared for the cold hard truth. And yes, sometimes it does stink too. You need to realise that until you uncover the underlying truth to a matter, the one that is being swept under the rug, the one where it is just conveniently not spoken out loud, the one where deep down inside you know what that is but afraid to vocalise it because you fear what doing so would mean to everything you hold dear, you will never be totally free. Free to do what you are meant to do in this life. We all have our purposes and dreams. But there is always something in the way. We can continually blame the lack of progress on it or we can own it, lift it up, clear the path and march right on. It is all up to us to decide if we will feel the fear and do it anyway.
Like how most people like to categorise the good things that happen to them either by chance or not as luck, that is how you need to remind yourself whenever you feel like not putting in the hard work or taking a break. Opportunities or ‘luck’ do not usually give you a courtesy call or a heads up before appearing at your feet. They just appear. And when they appear, you got to be ready because if you are not, it will go to someone else who is.
Peer pressure is a choice. It is not a situation where you are void of any semblance of options. The challenge to not conform however, is very tough. But then again, not impossible. Just because ‘everyone is doing it’ is not a good enough reason for you to follow suit. If you think like so, it just means that you are weak. That you are easily swayed by external forces. That you do not have your own mind, or at least control of it. Many people are like that. That is not to prove anything negative or whatsoever, just that it is easier. Succumbing to peer pressure is easier. That is why many people do the things that they do not want to. They want to belong to some place and unfortunately, sometimes they get involve with a bad crowd and they start to do the things that they would not perhaps do in the first place. Having said that, if the peer pressure is one of a positive nature, by all means go for it. Sometimes that kind of push in the right direction is ever so needed. The bottom-line is that we all have a choice. Peer pressure is not an order or command that you cannot refuse.
Let us not put blame on one person or the other. People will act as how they want to. Focusing your efforts on why they are not doing the right things will not make the situation any better. If you think that we can do better as a society, that is wonderful. It means that you care. However the reality might be that you are amongst the very few. So you can choose to focus on that, and how the present society is doomed or you can start to care more, show a little more empathy to others and encourage more people to follow suit. And the best form of encouragement is to give away empathy to people. Be empathetic to others and they might pass it along to someone else. Yes, you are right. The world could use a little more empathy. And it can very well start with you.