Too often when people need something from someone, they simply just ask for it. Direct. Straight to the point. Guts aside, there is a method to it. An art form if you will. It is not taught to most but if you can get this concept into your head and apply it, then you would see a higher number of positive results from your requests than if you did not. Always remember to serve first and foremost. Nobody likes a taker, and if that is what your first impression is going to be, what a way to build a relationship. But if you are seen as a giver first, and you continue to give and give and give, then when you actually ask for something, the likelihood of your request getting turn down is very little. Of course, it should be within means and depends on the situation. A lot of people are go-getters, they want to be efficient, so they just ask, with nothing in return. It does not matter how generous someone is, but that is just not the way to treat someone, especially if you intend to have a long relationship with that person. So whenever and wherever you can, offer value first. And if it is a first impression kind of situation, all the more you should remember that.
Start. Do it. Go do whatever it is that you have been wanting to do. Do not fall into that trap where you say that you are a perfectionist therefore you need to get every bit of your plan in order before you actually start. If you are a perfectionist, I know this is scary indeed. But always bear in mind, those who are now successful, the people that you admire from afar, want to be like someday, most if not all did not know for sure if the path they had taken will lead them to where they are now today. Stop waiting for everything to be aligned, just start from wherever you are right now.
We all have something that we are not necessarily proud of. Given, none of us are perfect. Many people try their very best to improve their imperfections by any means necessary, sometimes even risking their own lives to make it “right”. However, what if instead of focusing on making our imperfections perfect, could we perhaps learn to manage them? These imperfections should not hinder our growth and take away the important things in our lives such as our self-esteem or self-confidence. But in the first place, how do you even begin to identify “perfection”? That ideal something. Imagined out of someone’s mind and that then somehow became the basis to measuring perfection. It might seem quite hilarious and ridiculous if you think about it. Bottom line, it is best to not let that made up definition define your own perfection, but if you cannot do that just yet, work hard on managing those “imperfections” well. Get on top of them.
To anyone who is on the journey to a better self, working on achieving personal goals and dreams, nothing throws you off or slows you down like appeasing others. When you give in to external pressures, although it might seem like not much at first, the likelihood of you doing something similar again is very likely. There will then come a point where it will all eventually hurt you for continuously doing so. And at that time, to regret would be the only thing left to do. It definitely is not an admirable position to be in. So how then do you navigate the social and emotional blackmail that might be attached to you having to accede to or satisfy the demands and pressures?
Firstly, establish if that “blackmail” is real. More often than not, we like to assume the worst of others. Not that everyone is good but we need to separate them from those with ill intent.
Secondly, seek to understand where the other party is coming from. This will allow you to be more confident of your personal stance and actions. Having a clear conscience helps to dispel the social and emotional blackmail that comes with the request.
Finally, understand that it is okay to not please everyone, especially if it is going to hurt you if you were to do so. When all is said and done, you have to be at peace with yourself.
So if you value yourself and perhaps your sanity even, politely but firmly say “no” to those that do not share your values. The short-term gain is short-lived at best.
The time you have in this life is a gift. It will not last forever so please make the best use of it. Each day is an opportunity for you to do the things that will allow you to achieve your goals and dreams so master your day. Set yourself a schedule. Add in all the planned meetings and events in it. If you are serious about it, add in your eating, sleeping and any other miscellaneous activities into your calendar. Do your best to abide by it. When someone comes to you to take some time off of you, be firm and politely schedule the person appropriately. It will be weird at first but do it anyway. Eventually you will get use to it and people will begin to respect you and your time. Have adequate rest and watch your diet and fitness. They too have a large effect on how you go about your day. Note that your schedule will change as you will figure out better ways to schedule your day. Just simply adapt. Do everything you can to give yourself the winning edge.
We have always been taught of a certain way to do things. That to change the way things have been is a waste of time and perhaps even discouraged in some instances. To keep things as they are is a way for some people to keep their jobs and even power. Doing so however impedes progress of the people and the world at large. Innovations are always being done somewhere in the world to improve our lives and that should not be feared. It should instead be embraced. New ways of doing things or norms will emerge due to the innovation or some would say disruption. That in fact is the hallmark of being human. That we are built to adapt and that we can do so very effectively. So be bold and always ask the question – “is there a better way to do this?”
The mind is very powerful. Whatever you feed it with, it will absorbed without hesitation. We are all confined by the limited time that we have in a day and our attention span. How we spend those precious hours and minutes will define how strong or weak our mind is. If you want to be successful, if you want to achieve your goals and dreams, then you need a very strong mind. Because I kid you not, you will be met with a ton of obstacles and hurdles which at that time would seem insurmountable but with a strong mind, the likelihood of you getting past that would be much higher than if you did not have that. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind at an incredibly strong, unshaken and unwavering level. If you need to leave your favourite addictions behind in order to get there, do it. If you need to do the things that you dread like exercising or paying more money than you can afford at your present situation in order to alleviate your mind, do it. Whatever it takes. Feed it with the best knowledge. Go and read excessively. If the thought of sitting and staring at words does not work well with you, get some audiobooks or podcasts and listen to them on the go. Stay away from the things that is detrimental to the growth of your mind. This work is a daily affair. Be committed to it and you will soon start to see the results of your efforts.